Before the Release: What Parents Need to Know Before Saying Yes (Guest: Carissa Guiley)

Feb 17

Listen to the Podcast!

If you’ve recently had a baby and feeding has turned into a whole emotional roller coaster, first of all… I’m sending you the biggest, gentlest hug. Because when newborn feeding doesn’t go the way you thought it would, it can shake you to your core. Breastfeeding or bottle feeding is so much more than nutrition. It’s connection. Comfort. Safety. And when something feels “off” but you can’t quite fix it, that pressure builds fast.

So let’s talk about something that comes up constantly in postpartum support: tongue ties. And more importantly… what happens before a tongue tie release.

Many families are told: “There’s a tongue tie. Just get it clipped. Done.”

But here’s the part that often gets missed:

A frenectomy is not always a magic button. And when we rush into it, families sometimes feel even more overwhelmed afterward. That doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. It simply means the whole baby may need support first.

This idea is often called therapeutic readiness. And honestly, I think it is one of the most supportive shifts happening in infant feeding therapy right now.

Let’s walk through it together.

Tongue Ties Are Real… But So Is the Nervous System

A tongue tie happens when the tissue connecting the tongue to the floor of the mouth is tight or restrictive. This can limit tongue movement. And since the tongue drives feeding, it can create feeding challenges in newborns. Babies may struggle to latch, tire out quickly, swallow air, or stay constantly latched just to self-regulate.

But here’s the key part: If a baby’s body and nervous system are already stressed or dysregulated, changing their anatomy overnight does not automatically fix feeding. Babies who are tense, uncomfortable, or overstimulated often have feeding reflexes that are disorganized or hard to access. That is not a “behavior” problem. It is simply a nervous system trying really hard to cope.

And if that baby has a frenectomy before they are ready, things may actually feel harder for a bit. Think more gagging, more refusal, more tears. For both of you.

This is why slowing down is not avoidance. It is care.

Your Baby’s Body Tells a Story

Before a tongue-tie release, a skilled infant feeding therapist or lactation consultant will look beyond the mouth. They will check things like:

body tension
neck tightness or head preference
gag reflex
regulation
latch efficiency
weight gain
how calm or fussy baby is day to day

Because babies with tongue ties often also have:

tight shoulders
shallow breathing patterns
reflexes that are hard to access
nervous systems stuck in “fight or flight”

And when the body is tight, the floor of the mouth is often tight too. Which means… that tissue is far more likely to reattach after release.

So instead of racing to surgery, we support the whole body first.

This may look like:

infant feeding therapy
craniosacral therapy
pediatric chiropractic care
occupational or physical therapy
lactation support
nervous system regulation work

All working together. All aimed at helping baby feel safe, aligned, and calm.

This is holistic care.

Not “woo.”

Just real, integrative infant therapy.

Why This Matters So Much In Postpartum

When you’re already healing, hormonal, exhausted, and trying your absolute best… rushing into decisions rarely feels grounding. And tongue-tie conversations can feel pressurized:

“Fix it now.”
“Just clip it.”
“This will solve everything.”

Except sometimes… it doesn’t. And then parents blame themselves.

But here is the truth I want you to carry:

You are not failing.
Your baby is not broken.
Your feeding journey is not behind schedule.

You are navigating something complex during one of the most vulnerable seasons of your life.

And nothing about that is simple.

The Goal Is Not Just Feeding. It’s Regulation.

Supporting your baby before a frenectomy helps:

calm the nervous system
improve body alignment
strengthen oral reflexes
prepare for wound care
reduce aversion
protect breastfeeding goals
support bottle feeding success

And yes… it can even support sleep foundations and long-term overall development. Because how a baby breathes, rests, and regulates their body is deeply connected to how they feed.

But What If I Feel Rushed or Confused?

You are not alone.

Many parents receive conflicting advice:

“Tongue ties don’t matter.”
“Tongue ties explain everything.”
“Do the release immediately.”
“Never do it.”

No wonder your head spins.

The most important thing is this: Find a provider who is specifically trained in tethered oral tissues (TOTs). Not everyone is. Not even in pediatrics, lactation, or feeding therapy.

What to look for:

an IBCLC with TOTs training
a speech or occupational therapist specializing in infant feeding
bodyworkers experienced with infants
a release provider who works collaboratively

And… a care team that sees you as a human being. Not a project.

You Are Allowed To Take Your Time

A frenectomy is not an emergency procedure. Feeding your baby is the priority. Supporting both of you is the goal.

You deserve:

time
information
compassion
nervous system safety

And someone in your corner who says:

“You don’t have to hold this alone.”

You’re Still A Good Parent If…

breastfeeding doesn’t look how you imagined
you need bodywork and therapy
you use bottles
you supplement
you switch feeding plans
you cry about it
you don’t have all the answers yet

Your worth is not measured in ounces or latch angles.

And your baby’s story is still unfolding.

If You Need Support, You’re Welcome Here

Postpartum was never meant to be survived alone. And if feeding challenges are part of your journey, you deserve calm, steady, support-filled care while you figure things out.

Ways I can support you:

The First Year Support Program: Gentle, ongoing guidance for feeding, sleep, and emotional adjustment.
Postpartum & Sleep Consults: Compassionate, nervous-system aware support for exhausted families.
Rooted Rest Sleep Foundations Course: Because secure attachment and healthy sleep can grow together.

You don’t have to choose between nurturing your baby and nurturing yourself. Both matter.

And if today is heavy… I’m glad you’re here. Truly.

You are doing sacred work. One messy, love-filled day at a time.

Resources for Tongue Ties:

Chrysalis Oral Facial Professional Directory: Search for TOTS Training® Professionals in your area.
International Consortium of Ankylofrenula Professionals: Find a Tongue-Tie Professional.

Podcast Guest:

Carissa Guiley, MS, CCC-SLP, CLC
Founder of Nourish Therapy & The Nourish & Grow Collective

Carissa Guiley is a dedicated Speech-Language Pathologist and Certified Lactation Counselor specializing in infant and pediatric feeding therapy. With a strong foundation in nutrition and communication sciences, Carissa’s expertise spans feeding challenges, tongue ties, and myofunctional disorders. She is passionate about supporting families by blending evidence-based practices with a holistic approach to infant development.

As a parent of a NICU graduate and children with feeding challenges, Carissa brings both professional and personal experience to her work, helping babies and families thrive. She founded Nourish Therapy to provide compassionate care for oral dysfunction and tethered oral tissues in Kitsap County.

When she’s not working, Carissa enjoys outdoor adventures, DIY projects, and crafting with her daughters.