Why You Can’t Relax After Birth (and What Your Nervous System Has to Do With It)

Nov 24

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If you’re pregnant or newly postpartum and already wondering, “Why can’t I just calm down?”, you’re not alone.

So many new moms tell me that even when the baby finally sleeps, their bodies stay tense, their hearts race, and their minds won’t stop spinning. You’re exhausted, but you can’t rest. You’re grateful, but you feel on edge. Sound familiar?

In a recent Doula Talk episode, I sat down with holistic chiropractor and author Dr. Avery Champagne to talk about what’s really happening inside a new mother’s body when that constant “fight-or-flight” feeling won’t quit. And here’s the good news: it’s not your fault, and you’re definitely not broken.

Your nervous system is simply doing its best to protect you.

The Postpartum Nervous System: What’s Really Going On

Let’s talk about your autonomic nervous system, the one that manages all the stuff your body does automatically, like your heartbeat, breathing, and digestion. It has two modes:

Sympathetic (fight or flight): the “go mode” that helps you survive stress.
Parasympathetic (rest and digest): the calm, healing state where your body restores itself.

During pregnancy and postpartum, your body goes through major hormonal shifts, physical changes, and emotional stressors. Add in sleep deprivation, poor nutrition, and the overwhelming responsibility of caring for a newborn, and your nervous system can get stuck in high alert.

That “wired but tired” feeling isn’t anxiety you can simply think your way out of. It’s your nervous system saying, “I don’t feel safe enough to rest.”

Dr. Champagne explained it perfectly: trauma, chronic stress, and even birth itself can temporarily “shut down” the prefrontal cortex, the logical, calm part of the brain, and leave us operating from our emotional centers. That’s why you might feel irrationally anxious even when everything seems okay. Your body doesn’t know it’s safe yet.

Why Postpartum Anxiety Is More Than “Just Hormones”

We love to blame hormones for everything, right? And sure, they’re part of the story. But postpartum anxiety isn’t just hormonal, it’s physiological, emotional, and often systemic.

When you’re sleep-deprived, undernourished, and isolated, your body reads that as danger. Your sympathetic system stays active, pumping stress hormones and redirecting blood flow away from your gut and reproductive organs. That’s why so many new moms struggle with digestion issues, immune system dips, or even trouble producing breastmilk.

And here’s the kicker, our culture doesn’t help. We praise mothers for “bouncing back,” doing it all, and ignoring their needs. But as Dr. Champagne shared, it’s almost impossible to heal and regulate your nervous system in survival mode.

This is why it’s essential to build support into your postpartum plan long before your baby arrives.

Preparing for a Regulated Postpartum

You don’t need to be an expert in neuroscience to support your nervous system, you just need awareness, consistency, and compassion.

Here are some key ways to start supporting regulation before and after birth:

1. Prioritize Rest and Nutrition: Sleep deprivation and poor nourishment are two of the biggest triggers for nervous system dysregulation. Even if you can’t get long stretches of sleep, focus on short rest periods and nutrient-dense meals. Ask for help with meals before baby arrives, freezer meals, meal trains, or a postpartum doula can make all the difference.

2. Incorporate Gentle Movement: Your body craves safety through movement. Slow, mindful practices like walking, stretching, or postpartum yoga help discharge stress and signal to your brain that you’re safe. Skip the bootcamps for now, your nervous system needs rhythm, not adrenaline.

3. Stimulate the Vagus Nerve: The vagus nerve connects your brain to your body, playing a key role in calm and digestion. Stimulating it can bring you back to your parasympathetic state. Try:

Splashing your face with cold water or briefly immersing it in ice water.
Taking slow, deep belly breaths.
Humming, singing, or laughing (yes, laughter literally heals).
Gentle chiropractic adjustments (as Dr. Champagne shared, this can improve brain-body communication and enhance regulation).

4. Reduce Sensory Overload: If your phone, TV, or newsfeed constantly fills your brain with noise, your nervous system can’t rest. Set limits on stimulation. Try “quiet hours” during baby’s naps, no screens, no scrolling, just stillness.

5. Seek Support. You Weren’t Meant to Do This Alone: Healing happens in community. Reach out for postpartum support, whether that’s family, a therapist, a doula, or a local moms’ group. You deserve consistent help, not just one friend dropping off a meal.

As Dr. Champagne reminded us, it’s not weak to need help; it’s human.

Shifting from Treating Symptoms to Creating Health

In his book, Root Causes: Why the Healthcare System is Failing Us and What We Can Do About It, Dr. Champagne challenges our “fix it” approach to healthcare. We’ve been conditioned to treat symptoms, take the pill, push through, keep going, without asking, “Why am I feeling this way in the first place?”

He calls for a salutogenic model of care, one that focuses on creating and cultivating health rather than waiting for illness to show up. For postpartum mothers, that means investing in wellness practices that prevent burnout before it starts.

You don’t have to wait until you’re completely depleted to ask for help. The earlier you support your nervous system, the better your recovery, bonding, and emotional well-being will be.

Your Body Knows How to Heal

One of the most empowering things Dr. Champagne said during our conversation was this: “Health comes from the inside out.”

Your body already has the blueprint for healing. It just needs safety, nourishment, and care to activate it.

When you slow down, eat well, ask for help, and regulate your nervous system, you’re not just caring for yourself, you’re modeling resilience for your baby, too.

Ready to Support Your Nervous System?

If you’re preparing for postpartum or already in the thick of it, I want you to know: you don’t have to do this alone.

Click below and you’ll find resources to help you build rest, rhythm, and resilience into your life:

The First Year Support Program: Ongoing virtual support for parents navigating sleep, feeding, and postpartum recovery.
Rooted Rest Sleep Foundations Course: Learn the science of baby sleep and regulation while honoring connection and attachment.
Free Resources Library: Downloadable checklists and guides to help you prepare for postpartum with confidence and calm.

Your nervous system deserves the same compassion you give your baby. You can’t pour from an empty cup, but you can refill it, one deep breath at a time.

Podcast Guest:

Dr. Avery Champagne
Clinic Owner/Director, Author
Radiant Health Chiropractic

Dr. Avery R. Champagne is the owner and clinical director of Radiant Health Chiropractic in Lacey, Washington. His practice focuses on supporting patients with chronic health challenges and children with neurodevelopmental delays through a holistic and individualized approach. He earned his Doctor of Chiropractic degree with honors from Life Chiropractic College West in the Bay Area of California, becoming the youngest graduate in his class. During his studies, he developed a deep passion for prenatal and pediatric chiropractic care, furthering his expertise through training with the International Chiropractic Pediatric Association (ICPA). He is the author of Root Causes: Why the Healthcare System is Failing Us and What We Can Do About It.